Monday, April 16, 2012

Another Great Story

This was a great post I was made aware of and so I asked the author if I could share it on here. You can check out the whole story

I love when stories are shared. It can be nice to feel validated in hearing someone else felt similar emotions. So thank you to Amanda Varva for sharing her story will all of us.

One part of her story that stood out to me was:

"Until the moment where my doctor told me that she didn’t think I’d ever have a vaginal delivery, I had no idea how much I had wanted that. I always thought that it didn’t matter how my baby arrived as long as everyone was safe and healthy; but after that day I felt differently. Not that I would have traded my healthy baby for a good birth experience, but that they both mattered"

I know I have talked about those feelings before and the comments about "at least you have a healthy baby" but really both a healthy baby, and healthy mom matter and part of a healthy mom can include physical and emotions well being.

And I love how she ended her story with this:

"I’m sure that most of you, if not all of you, know someone who has had a C-section or traumatic birth. I’ve talked to a number of women who have felt the hurt and guilt that comes with grieving a birth experience. For some women, pregnancy and birth are the means to a wonderful end, regardless of their arrivals. But for others, it means so much more. How we imagine and perceive our births has a profound effect on both our emotional and physical recovery. I’ve learned as a provider to never minimize the feelings that someone has about the experience, no matter how “normal” or “routine” it is. Each experience is unique, and every woman deserves the right to experience something that will make them feel empowered and in charge of their body and their birth, whatever that means to them. It’s taken me until just recently to really understand what it means to trust your body and to make educated and informed decisions."


  1. Megan, I just stumbled upon your site and wanted to share my story with you. I completely understand feeling let down after a birth experience. I have encountered two very traumatic births that leave me floundering as to how I should proceed with my third. My first and third pregnancies ended with a 10wk miscarriage. My second pregnancy was perfect...until my normal doctor visit at 38.5 weeks revealed our little girl had died. This birth experience was stolen from me in so many ways. I was rushed into an epidural after the induction started, which I wasn't ready for. I was numb from the waist down and stuck in my bed for 13 hours while we grieved and waited for delivery. The actual birth was a breeze. I pushed no more than 20 minutes before our beautiful Addison Margaret was born still. I gave birth in a dimly lit, perfectly quiet room. I got to have the moment where they hand you your baby, but mine would never cry.

    As I mentioned above, I then miscarried our third baby 8 months later. Then we were blessed immediately with another pregnancy. This pregnancy was riddled with problems. We thought we lost her multiple times in the first trimester before they discovered a large subchorionic hemmorhage. Luckily, the hemmorhage resolved itself. At the 18wk ultrasound they then discovered a velamentous insertion of the umbilical cord. Considering we lost Addison to a true knot, hearing that there might be a problem with the cord was terrifying. Then at 31 weeks I began bleeding at work and rushed to the hospital with what was a partial placental abruption. I spent 4 weeks on hospital bedrest. During these 4 weeks I struggled to come to terms with the fact that a c-section was emminent. I had dreamed of finally getting that moment in the birthing room where there is noise and joy. Getting that moment where they hand you your baby and he/she screams. While under the circumstances I understood the need for a c-section, I was devastated to again have a wonderful vaginal birth experience taken away from me. This pregnancy ended with our beautiful Lela, but I got to see her for the first time as someone held her to my face while my arms were strapped to the operating table.

    Now I am 13 weeks pregnant. Because of my age, 37, and past history, doctors are very strongly leaning toward a c-section already. I have said I want a vbac, and they say they support that. The problem for me is I have serious mental and emotional issues with allowing my pregnancy to go past 38 weeks. And, since they do not recommend induction with a vbac, I have to go into labor on my own or schedule a c-section. I am struggling with whether I can handle carrying my pregnancy to its natural end considering my fear of another stillbirth. But, I want to replace my original vaginal ending with a happy one so badly...I came across your site as I continue to research statistics, labor inducers, etc. as I try to decide which path is the right one. Thank you for the information you provide and for sharing your story.

    1. Wow, thank you for sharing your difficult journey. So sad for you with all that you have been through and I can't even imagine how heartbreaking that all must be. I pray you will find peace with whatever decision you make with this pregnancy and that this pregnancy and delivery goes well and that the baby is healthy. I would love to hear back from you with what path you chose. I am glad you found this blog and I hope it will be some help to you.